Monday, March 16, 2009

I Hate Rollercoasters

Ever since I was forced onto my first amusement park ride when I was a kid, I have hated rollercoasters with every living bone in my body. I despise the dizzying drops when your stomach is about to fly out of your throat. And I especially hate the anticipation of climbing, because what goes, must come down.

So little wonder that I hate these kind of days with diabetes. I'll give you the run down. I woke up 85, right on the money, couldn't ask for better. After breakfast, it was 481, that's five times higher than it should be. Needless to say, I felt like crap. Then, what goes up must come down, and crashing down it did, to 35. Just 5 points away from blacking out. Then a good solid reading after lunch/before dinner, 109. Then a whopping 287 after dinner. What a crappy day...

When your blood sugar is low, all sorts of crazy things happen. You can't think straight, your hands shake, you start sweating. The problem is, that because you aren't thinking straight, you don't think to check your blood sugar. Oh yeah, and you can't exercise when you're low because you might pass out.

Then, when your blood sugar is high, you feel like a big bundle of anxiety and ache. You can't concentrate, but it's different because you just get angry. And you're super thirsty, because your body is dehydrated. And then you pee a lot, because your body is dehydrated. Oh yeah, and you can't exercise when you're high because, strangely enough, that can shoot it even higher. And then, if you're really high (like 481), you have to pee on a stick to make sure that your body isn't going into starvation mode. (anybody want to try diabetes for a day?)

But the worst, the absolute worst part, is after you've fixed your blood sugar. When you're high, you take more insulin. When you're low, you eat sugar. But after that, your head just starts pounding. Because of the rapid change in the levels of sugar in the body, my head just goes beserk. It pounds and aches.

So today was one of those days.

So I hope I don't have too many of these days. Not only are they just crappy days, but too many of these days and my whole body will just fall apart. Heart disease, stroke, blindness, and loss of limbs and teeth are just some of the results of lifetime with diabetes.

And to add a theological reflection to an otherwise dreary blog, this is exactly the reason I hope in the resurrection. Don't give me any of this "spiritual restoration" malarky, or that the disciples just "resurrected" Jesus through their fond memories of him. No, try on diabetes for a day. And then you'll understand the hope of the actual, bodily resurrection. For some of us, it's the only hope we have.

1 comment:

  1. Just read about your roller coaster ride.
    I think we have always known that diabetes can be and is a hard disease to deal with. I am sure that you have gone through a wide spectrum of emotions during the last two years. Hopefully the roller coaster days will be sparce. It is hard to totally comprehend what you are dealing with on a daily basis. Research provides trust in that there are better days ahead, though I know that doesn't make todays headaches and other miserable symptoms any better. I just wanted to post a comment,thats my comment. We all think of you often. Dudley

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